i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
