Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize