Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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