I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
