why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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