I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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