i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
