Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
