gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
