i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
