she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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