When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
