Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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