She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
