you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
