She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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