Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
