They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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