i just wanna soil my oats bro
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
