we have officially lost it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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