2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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