I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
