Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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