Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
