it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize