So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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