i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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