I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
