Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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