Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
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