I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
