Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Im part way to drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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