Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
