im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
should my penis look like a turkey
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
