So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
