grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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