Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
