Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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