This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
