he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Help. Why am I so naked?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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