i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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