also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i barfeds in our rink
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
