none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Panties = found
Randomize
