Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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