I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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