Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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