we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
