I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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