I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dicks are not precious.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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