STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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