you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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