This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
