She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize