we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
