Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
