But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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