I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
