who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
