I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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