i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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