This girl is more easily done than said...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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