we have officially lost it.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
