I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
