Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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