I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
