Just cropdusted the office
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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