I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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