I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
