you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
