I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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