well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize