You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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