aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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