I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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