She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize