sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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