Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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